Tag Archives: parents

Breaking Up is Hard to Do…

“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.” Philippians 1:9-10

Under the conviction of the Holy Spirit I recently made several dramatic changes to my lifestyle (1 Cor. 6:12-13, 19-20). I’ve found, through the implementation of these new habits, many “bad” habits came to light I was unaware of. As I mediated on such things I discovered three sources of influence over my choices:

#1-Parents

Some of the things I’ve done my whole life are a direct result of how I was raised (this is not a ding against my parents but merely a fact-see Proverbs 22:6). It’s extremely difficult to replace habits practiced for more than twenty years-but it can be done. The Holy Spirit has strengthened and enabled me to follow His will for my life today. (Phil. 4:13)

#2-Media

If I spend too much time reading/viewing secular media, I find it tempting to become overwhelmed with a wide variety of opinions (Rom. 12:1-2).  One week something is bad for you and the next week that same thing is good for you. If I choose to believe everything I read without seeking the will of God through His word and prayer, I will be on a constant roller-coaster of frustration.

#3-Christians

Many well-meaning Christians have a variety of opinions based on their interpretation of Scripture and their own experiences in life (often relating to how they were raised-something we all do). More often than not, I have experienced a great deal of criticism within Christianity regarding lifestyle choices, especially anything that contradicts what someone else is doing. Everyone has an opinion, interpretation, and a judgment. (Matt. 7:1-5) The only way I can really know what is best for me is to spend time in the word and prayer. (Phil. 4:6-7)

This isn’t the first time I’ve received negative feedback regarding a personal choice, but I do believe I am following God’s will for my life (recognizing this is not His specific calling for every believer). I’ve done research and made, what I believe to be, an informed decision based on that research and my relationship with God. I am the one who will answer for my choices; it is imperative I do whatever it takes to maintain a clear conscience before God. (James 4:17)

I’m now questioning every choice I make under this light: is it God’s word and Spirit guiding me or the habits and opinions of others?

3 Sentences to Good Parenting

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Deut 6:5-8

This shows me how to be a good parent in a few short sentences.

Parents are often led to believe that their success is measured in their child’s abilities, accomplishments, and academia, but the Bible says a parent’s success is measured by their choice to love, serve, and obey God with all their hearts and teach that to their kids. Society chooses to fill the minds of children with useless garbage, yet all parents have a choice what to teach their kids and what they are allowed to spend time with or participate in. All of these things will affect their eternity and it falls on the parents to teach them the right path.

We will all answer for our choices- to teach our children-or not teach them the only thing that truly matters.

Life is not a joke, and I am responsible for equipping my child with appropriate tools to deal with life in a godly, wise way. But, I can’t expect her to do this unless I am doing it. After all, I am an imitator of Christ, and this is what I want my daughter to emulate in me. (Kids will replicate what they see, and if you’re a parent you already know this.)

But, some may argue, my child needs to learn how to work with a team, how to physically train their body and how to have responsibility. There is nothing wrong with sports, classes, lessons, or other activities for children but there is something wrong with placing those things above their relationship with God.

If they know, understand, and love the Bible they will automatically know how to play on a team, share, treat their bodies well, and be responsible because they’ll  know and respect what God’s word says about those things.

It’s easy to quote Proverbs, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”, however, that training involves a lifestyle, not just filling my child’s minds with knowledge or sending her to Sunday School once a week. The passage from Deuteronomy is perfect; I am told to walk it, talk it, and live it every morning noon and night. It is a way of life. It starts with me as a parent.

 Do I love the Lord my God with all my hearts, soul, strength, and mind? If I start there I won’t need to worry so much about what happens with my child later in life.

Prayer: “Lord, change ME, teach ME, and let my child see YOU in me; let her grow to love YOU as she sees me loving you!”

A Mother’s Joy

“May she who gave birth to you be happy!” Proverbs 23:25b

Suggested Reading: Proverbs 23:22-25

The Holy Spirit tugs at my heart and I am reminded that my parents are my parents forever, and they’re the only ones I’ll ever have. Life is short, and I still have a responsibility to them. This obligation goes way beyond physical needs being met, or nursing home bills being paid. I’m talking about the emotional state of my parents.

As Mother day draws near I am prodded to look deep within and how I am contributing to the joy of my mother. I can’t always give her what she wants or needs materially, but according to God’s word, my godliness (or lack thereof) has an effect on my mother’s inner joy. That’s a lot of pressure! I’m starting to understand what that looks like, though. Godliness isn’t just about “doing”, it’s about “being” all God has designed me to be, from the inside out. Seeing with God’s eyes allows me to appreciate how He feels about my mom, and how she deserves to be treated, regardless of past hurts.

The Master Creator formed my mother in the womb (Psalm 139) and created her for a specific purpose; He loves her and went to the cross for her. It is my honor as her child to replicate the love of Christ over her. There is no mention in Proverbs of how I was raised, what was said, or how I was treated; it simply has nothing to do with how I am to love my mother (or father). How I love my Mom (not the feeling love, but the active love), and anyone else for that matter, is only contingent on the value I see. If I see her through the eyes of my Heavenly Father, then I will be motivated to love, honor, care for, listen to, and encourage her with the love of Jesus.

I looked hard to find the perfect gift for mom this year, not because she needed it, but because I wanted her to understand my love for her through the giving of a special “thing”.  But Mother’s Day isn’t about breakfast in bed, pretty flowers, or new appliances; it’s about reflecting the love of Jesus to my mom every day of the year, and choosing to love her as God does, without expectation.

My mom, Sue, dressed up for an old west re-enactment.