Tag Archives: spirituality

Validation

“You are truly one of God’s special ones…You are part of a rare breed, Rebecca, and I am thrilled to work with you,” my instructor recently wrote me, someone with a bachelor and master’s degrees in education and writing.

There’s been a consistent theme in my ministry of writing; I never seem to get validation from the people closest to me including family. In fact, most of them never read anything I write. I’m not sure why, but I think my past has something to do with it. Sometimes when you know a person well and the things they’ve done, it’s hard to see them in any other light then the failures they’ve mastered.

God has used these circumstances to do two things. One, he has shown me my own heart. I’m made aware of how I care what people think when only God’s voice matters. Two, he uses other people, people I don’t know personally, to confirm my ministry. In other words, he works in ways I don’t expect. Isn’t that how He usually does things? You’d think I’d have figured that out by now.

Right when I’m feeling bluesy that no one in my life seems to care, God gives me the gift of validation. Yes, abiding in his will is enough confirmation for me, but He knows how I have longed for the approval of loved ones and have rarely gotten it. Instead, he gives me little gifts like comments from my teacher or praises from my editor. He reminds me that these compliments are gifts from Him and he chooses to speak my love language out of his great compassion for me.

Reminded of his grace, my flame ignites hot to press on and continue my education as well as pursuing my God-given goals. He’s there encouraging me every step. He only gives me enough to chew on for the moment, though, and reminds me to continually seek Him in humility and gratitude.

This morning I’m about to leave for church and I eagerly pursue my opportunity to sing praises to the Lover of my soul, the ultimate Validator.

“The Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation. Let the saints rejoice in honor and sing for joy in their beds.” Psalm 149:4-5

Who Are YOU?

Who are you?

Are you a parent? Are you spouse? Are you a musician?  Are you a lawyer? Are you a teacher? Are you a business man (or woman)?

Are you in recovery? Do you suffer with a chronic illness? Have you been abused? Are you a victim? Are you a survivor?

Who are you? How would you answer that question?

Most of us have identified ourselves through our circumstances, but there is a better way to live.

6 months ago if you had asked me that question I may have answered, “I am a recovering addict” or “I’ve survived a terrible illness” or even “I am a pianist”. Today, though, I would not answer that way.

Today I am a child of God, I am free, I am washed, I am clean, I am sanctified, I am pure, and I am righteous in His eyes. In other words, I am united with Christ, I am complete in Him, and He is my identity. I am a not a survivor; I am a Jesus follower who was brought through a painful illness. I am not a recovering addict; I am a redeemed sinner delivered from the bondage of chemicals. I am not a musician; I am a friend of God who enjoys worship through the expression of music.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in what we experience and use that as our identity. We put labels on ourselves and spew them out naturally in our conversations. We’ve been tricked into thinking what we do is who we are. We are not what we do, we are not what we’ve done, we are not our hobbies, we are not our passions, we are not our illnesses, we are not our failures; that is not who we are if we have placed our trust in Jesus.

We are disciples of Jesus who are in a process. We are saved by grace and being sanctified daily. We are loved, cherished, bought for, sought after, ravished with blessings, and free from condemnation. That friends, is who we are. We experience any number of difficult things in our lifetime, but we were never meant to use those experiences as our identity.

Am I a mom? Yes. I am a mother and a wife, but that is not my identity. My identity is solely enveloped in the person of Jesus and I am merely a vessel available for his use in various aspects of living. No doubt, he gives me numerous opportunities to rely on Him.

 “I was [those things] but now I am washed, I am sanctified, I am justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of my God.” (1 Cor. 6:11)

Personalizing Scripture is an excellent way to retrain your mind in understanding your identity. Turning “you” into “I” and “me” helps the brain make a connection from God’s word into daily living. Eventually it will be natural to claim your identity for what it really is. You’ll be less tempted to sulk in self-pity as a victim of your circumstances, but will be able to boldly proclaim the truth.

So, once again I ask, who are you?

 

To Be An Encourager….

Suggested Reading: Acts 15:36-41

Many of God’s greatest servants screwed up. They were not perfect or instantly sanctified; their growth in Christ was a process. We see that clearly in the story of John Mark (also referred to as “Mark”).

After deserting the cause, Paul had completely lost faith in Mark and refused to take him on another mission. However, Barnabus decided to give him another chance. He was an encourager. I find myself relating to Barnabus because I want to be “that guy” who swoops in and encourages the faltering believer. It’s never too late to be used; it’s never too late to make a difference in the world; it’s never too late to walk in the freedom Christ gave you on the cross. Never.

We don’t know why Mark deserted the ministry, all we’re told is that he did and Paul no longer trusted him. We’re also told Barnabus gave Mark another opportunity, even disagreeing with Paul over the issue. Imagine if Barnabus had shrugged Mark off as an unworthy reject and moved on? But he didn’t and Mark played a pivotol role in Paul’s ministry; no doubt many were delivered to the kingdom of light through his work.

Barnabus gave Mark a second chance, and we see later that Paul’s trust was restored and they served together once again. (Philemon 1:24, 1 Timothy 4:11) It is widely believed that Mark went on to write the book of Mark, a gospel that has reached millions for the kingdom of Christ over countless generations.

I want to be a Barnabus. I never know what struggling believer could be the next Mark, and I certainly don’t want to shrug them off in contempt for their failures. It’s been made clear in God’s word He is glorified through our weaknesses. In humility I want to always remember the atrocities I was delivered from, and be thankful for the very few who never gave up on me.

“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise. God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.” 1 Corinthians 1:27

Rippling Effect

Suggested Reading: John 15:1-11

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11

I was thinking about that day, as it often returns to my thoughts. He appeared to me in such a clear way it was undeniable. His voice spoke soft yet firm, “Your independence from Me has shattered his dreams.”

God opened my heart with surgical precision. I had gotten caught up in, “It’s my life; it’s my body; it’s my choice!” All those “my my mys” destroyed my husband’s heart, and mine as well. Did God reveal this to cause shame? Never. He revealed this to cause repentance.

“If only I had remained in His love, attached to His vine of wisdom; if only…”

As the ramifications of what I did spilled into my psyche, I was overwhelmed with grief. It took at least two weeks before I could confront my husband and share with him my regret.

“I should never have done it, I was wrong, I am so sorry! Can you ever find a way to forgive me?”

It was a nice sentiment, but he had long lived with the pain of my decision and bitterness had set in. It was several more weeks before he could talk about my change of heart. Healing has been a long process for us. In His love, God has allowed me to experience the consequences of my decision. I don’t find this to be cruel, however. I embrace the discipline. Everytime I feel the stinging pain I am reminded of how vital it is for me to remain in Him. Stay in His word, and for crying out loud, ASK HIM FIRST before making decisions.

You’re probably itching to know what awful thing I had done. I had many Christian women advising me to do it. Funny how in hindsight no one was telling me to see what God thought about it. It’s not their fault, of course. It was my responsibility to look for His will, and listen for His voice. Truth be told, I didn’t care at the time what He wanted. It was “my choice” and I made it.

Against my husbands wishes I walked into the hospital and signed the consent. I assured my OBGYN I was never going to have children again. My husband (who does not have a relationship with Jesus) and I had been having a lot of difficulties and I concluded I could not bear any more of his children.

Since then Chris has watched his sisters bear children, boys, which is what he always wanted and hoped to try for. I remember snapping a picture of him with his nephew,

and God began working on my heart. I destroyed that man’s dreams because I couldn’t be bothered to listen to the God I claim to serve.; no wonder my husband doesn’t care for “religion”.

I was certain I never wanted more children, but I underestimated the power of God. He has placed within me a strong desire to have another baby. Poetic justice? I mean, why would God place a desire that couldn’t be fulfilled? Actually, I know God didn’t place that desire in my heart to torture me. In a sense He has branded my heart with the hot iron of His love. Every time I hold my friends baby or see someone else holding their newborn I feel the ache deep within and I thank God for it.

Reminders that my choices aren’t my choices.

They effect others like a stone dropped in a pond. The ripples go out far and wide in ways I couldn’t begin to understand.

I’m a firm believer that God doesn’t waste our pain, and he brought me on my knees that day to bring about a glorious new birth. Is it a physical brith? Maybe not, but a spiritual one; definitely.

He told me all of this so my joy could be complete. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me enough to teach me how essential it is to follow You.

 

Comfortable

Suggested Reading: 2 Samuel 23:8-12

Imagine an entire army running for their lives as the enemy draws near. Hundreds, if not thousands of men running in a panic seeking the comfort of safety. All of a sudden one lone guy stops running as his fellow soldiers fly past him. This one man decides he’s not going to run to comfort, he’s going to face the uncomfortable and trust God no matter what the outcome. Shammah turns around and faces the Philistine army alone, then, “The Lord brought about a great victory.” (vs. 12)

The mighty “heroes” of the Bible were used by God when placed in uncomfortable situations and each one of us has the potential to be a mighty warrior; there’s no reason God can’t work miracles through us as he did then. What is required? I’ll quote Pastor Pat on what he called “the Shammah Principle”:

He did what he could with what he had where he was.

With God, Shammah had everything he needed to achieve victory. Right now we are equipped with everything we need to be a hero. We have the Holy Spirit, God Himself, residing in us. The same God who uses one man to defeat hundreds of people uses us every day right where we’re at with what he’s given us.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, open my eyes to the opportunities you’ve placed in my path to be your mighty warrior. Motivate me through discomfort and continue to develop my faith. 

(Patrick McCalla is the teaching Pastor at New Life Community in Peoria, Arizona. You can read more of how God is using him as an every day hero through his blog, http://www.patmccallablog.com/.)

Why We Do What We Do…Part II: Overspending

“Each of you should use whatever gifts you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Does God really care if I buy an extra pair of shoes, a movie, some video games, or that magazine? Doesn’t God have bigger problems then how I spend my money? Isn’t that a bit extreme? After reading Luke 12:35-48 (I’d highly recommend checking it out) I’m convinced it is not too extreme and everything we do is important. Our Master is returning and we’re busy goofing off. He has entrusted us with material and spiritual gifts and He is watching us right now to see if we are using them faithfully. It bears no significance that our name is on the paycheck; it all belongs to Him. (1 Cor. 10:26) Consider this; Jesus is standing in front of you with a wad of cash, assuring you can do whatever you want with it. I don’t know about you, but my first response probably wouldn’t be running to Outback Steakhouse, buying a new T.V., or taking a trip to Disneyland. I’m guessing I would be motivated and obligated to use it for the hungry and needy. I couldn’t say for sure that’s what I’d do, but I have my dreams.

The reality is, every Friday (or whatever the pay day is), we are presented with that very same opportunity! Yes, we have bills to pay and things we need for our survival, but how much of that is truly spent wisely? If Jesus looked through your checkbook register, would you be embarassed? I know I would be. Let’s spend a moment clearing out our spiritual garden again, digging up the roots to our spending habits.

Root #1: I Lust with My Eyes

“For everything in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-comes not from the Father but from the world.” 1 John 2:16

It’s impossible to make an unwise purchase without the sin of lust being involved. We didn’t buy that 80″ big screen television because we had no choice. We saw it with our eyes, we wanted it, we lusted after it, so we bought it! If we want to be good stewards of our finances, we must rectify our eyes of lust, and ask God to give us new eyes; kingdom eyes. Does that mean buying items for entertainment is sin? Only you and God know what is sin for you and your finances (James 4:17 again). If He has convicted you of a certain spending issue, and you ignore it, you are sinning. What’s a sin for me may not be a sin for you; it is up to me and you to listen to the Holy Spirit’s conviction and obey. Maybe you could try praying before making such a purchase, and see what God has to say.

Root #2: I am Discontent

“The fear of the Lord leads to life: Then one rests content.” Proverbs 19:23 (Emphasis mine)

A spirit of discontentment will most assuredly lead to over-spending. If we  found our contenment in God, we would be less tempted to buy junk we don’t really need. Jesus warns us, “Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” (Luke 12:15) Paul instructs us to be content in godliness, rather than accumulation of things. (1 Tim. 6:6) We need to ask ourselves: are we content with what we have or are we constantly looking to have more? (1 Tim. 6:8)

Root #3: I am an Idolator

“Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolator, worshiping the things of this world.” Colossians 3:5 (NLT)

“Greed causes fighting; trusting in the Lord leads to prosperity.” Proverbs 28:25

Ouch! All I have to do is be greedy (selfish) and I am labeled as an idolator! How many times throughout a given day am I more concerned with my rights then the rights of those around me? Selfish ambition is greed. The deep desire for self leads us into all sorts of ugliness, one of which is over-spending. I want what I want and I want it now! I have the money, so why not? Once again we need to consider the source of our desire. Are we making wise choices or selfish choices? I have a friend who almost never makes new purchases for her children. She always uses hand-me-downs from families and friends yet her kids have some pretty cool toys. Many of them were used and they work just as well. We may look at used things as being beneath us or not good enough for us; this is another source of pride, selfishness, and greed. Once again I implore you to seek God’s counsel before making any purchase.

If you’re looking to increase the kingdom of God, and use your finances to glorify Him, consider the above roots and whether they have held a place in your spiritual garden. Seek new ways to be a blessing to someone else, rather then feeding your own desires. One of the best ways to get kingdom focused is to focus on the needs of those around you,  keeping in mind the nice things you have are not going to eternity with you.

(For more information on frugality, see America’s Cheapest Family Gets You Right On The Money or Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half with America’s Cheapest Family by Steve and Annette Economides: America’s Cheapest Family. You can also see their bio and info on facebook.)

Why Do We Need Christian Writing?

Our world is infiltrated with lies and deception; we need a new generation of truth-seekers to spread the light of God’s word to a hopeless, desperate world. It isn’t hard to see what is popular in today’s reading market. A simple glance in your average waiting room will uncover an abundance of magazines like Rolling Stones, People, and Cosmopolitan.

Out of curiosity I picked up a Cosmo magazine and noticed articles regarding sex, wealth, and beauty. Cosmopolitan is listed as 13 on a top 25 list of best-selling magazines. This shows us what the world is reading (along with many Christians). Do articles such as these actually help people or do they teach a counterfeit happiness? The enemy would like us to believe lies about what our role is in society (Jn. 8:44, Eph. 6:12, 1 Pet. 5:8) which is why we need spiritual people spreading spiritual truths that transform lives for eternity.

Secular media will encourage one to seek sexual satisfaction, but the word of God teaches: “Each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and acceptable.” (1 Thess. 4:4) Many articles will list “10 ways to get rich now” but the Bible gives wisdom regarding money: “Command those who are rich in this present world neither to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth.” (1 Tim. 6:17) Beauty is also a popular area for secular media, but God’s word guides accordingly: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…Rather; it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Pet. 3:3-4)

What the world really needs is a lasting hope that gives purpose to life. A great example of writing that can change one’s life is from Neil T. Anderson, founder of Freedom in Christ Ministries (www.ficm.org). I recently went through his workbook, The Steps to Freedom in Christ, and cannot adequately describe the spiritual transformation that resulted. Our hope should be in the Lord (Psa. 130:7) and we need truth to transform lives of brokenness and bondage into soaring freedom and purpose. (Jn. 8:32, Psa. 119:32) Perhaps we would see less depression, substance abuse, and violence if there were more truth-seeking lovers of Christ sharing their experiences of freedom with those around them.

Whether it’s a magazine article, blog, newspaper, or a social networking site, there are many opportunities for the transforming truth of Christ to be shared. This can only happen if there are God-fearing people behind the God-given message.

 

(This is an article I had to write for my courses with The Christian Writers Institute. My instructor liked it, so I thought I’d share. I also searched for an appropriate picture of Cosmopolitan magazine to include. Sadly,  I could find none appropriate due to overt sexual content which I will not promote on this blog. Truthfully, visiting their website was tantamount to online pornography and I wouldn’t recommend it. ~Rebecca)

Paper Thin

“Do you have Netflix? My husband and I like to watch Monk together after the kids are in bed. We find it’s a nice way to relax.” My jaw dropped. For the longest time I believed my friend didn’t even own a television, let alone a service like Netflix! I can’t express how much that one sentence of transpareny helped me.

One of the lies I have believed has revolved around not being a good enough Christian. There have been certain people in my life who, when I am at their house, I assume don’t do some of the things I do. (Like watch Netflix) I make the conclusion that they must be a better Christian because they don’t allow their kids to watch T.V. like I do, allowing the cycle of inner insuffiency to continue.

The moment my friend said what she did, God spoke loud and clear, “Things are not the way you perceive them.” I was thrilled to know my friend was more human than I had imagined! (I can hear her laughing about this right now.) Last week as our kids played together she suggested they play their Wii game system. I remember thinking, “She has a game system??!!” Once again I was surprised to know her kids occasionally played video games.

It was through this second revelation that I began to understand why it’s so important not to compare myself to other people. Truthfully, I don’t know what goes on in their lives behind closed doors. I make my own assumptions and crucify myself against them.

I was also motivated to continue being transparent. I usually don’t have a problem spilling the beans about my personal struggles, but these situations encouraged me even more. Maybe someone else out there could be helped if they knew a Christian like me has struggled with eating disorders and depression. I am a new creation in Christ and I have been set free, but I’d still like others who may not be there yet to know there is hope. I want them to know things aren’t always what they seem with the people they think are perfect. I want them to know their transparency could be useful for someone else who is struggling.

God used my friend to help me get through one of the most diffuclt (and wonderful) times of my life. I am thankful she opened up to me about  personal issues that brought her off the pedastal I had placed her on. She’s normal just like me. We may struggle with different specifics, but the end result is the same. We’re both redeemed children of God on the same journey through His school of transformation.

I am also thankful she doesn’t preach at me. Even when I was deeply distressed, on the verge of suicide, she never preached to me. The only thing she did was ask to spend time with me in fellowship. Over the past 6 weeks we have grown closer as friends, but I’ve also experienced life in the family of God as it was meant to be; transparency, openness, truth, and encouragement. Through us our kids have learned what authentic relationship looks like. They pray together before lunch, play together in the sun, and worship together in church. (Mother’s Day was interesting with 4 kids ages 5 and under and 3 adults trying to mainatin order during the sermon.) I love her kids as if they were my own, and I know she feels the same about mine.

(Here she is playing with my daughter at the park.)

(Our kids: Caleb, Samantha (mine), and Micah.)

I would  urge those of you who want to put your best foot forward: while there is nothing wrong with this, consider being a little paper thin in your approach. Reveal yourself as you really are, and don’t worry about “what they’ll think”. Maybe there is someone who needs to hear that you’re a real person who does real things and has real struggles. Don’t waste your journey by keeping it a secret; allow God to use it.

A Mother’s Joy

“May she who gave birth to you be happy!” Proverbs 23:25b

Suggested Reading: Proverbs 23:22-25

The Holy Spirit tugs at my heart and I am reminded that my parents are my parents forever, and they’re the only ones I’ll ever have. Life is short, and I still have a responsibility to them. This obligation goes way beyond physical needs being met, or nursing home bills being paid. I’m talking about the emotional state of my parents.

As Mother day draws near I am prodded to look deep within and how I am contributing to the joy of my mother. I can’t always give her what she wants or needs materially, but according to God’s word, my godliness (or lack thereof) has an effect on my mother’s inner joy. That’s a lot of pressure! I’m starting to understand what that looks like, though. Godliness isn’t just about “doing”, it’s about “being” all God has designed me to be, from the inside out. Seeing with God’s eyes allows me to appreciate how He feels about my mom, and how she deserves to be treated, regardless of past hurts.

The Master Creator formed my mother in the womb (Psalm 139) and created her for a specific purpose; He loves her and went to the cross for her. It is my honor as her child to replicate the love of Christ over her. There is no mention in Proverbs of how I was raised, what was said, or how I was treated; it simply has nothing to do with how I am to love my mother (or father). How I love my Mom (not the feeling love, but the active love), and anyone else for that matter, is only contingent on the value I see. If I see her through the eyes of my Heavenly Father, then I will be motivated to love, honor, care for, listen to, and encourage her with the love of Jesus.

I looked hard to find the perfect gift for mom this year, not because she needed it, but because I wanted her to understand my love for her through the giving of a special “thing”.  But Mother’s Day isn’t about breakfast in bed, pretty flowers, or new appliances; it’s about reflecting the love of Jesus to my mom every day of the year, and choosing to love her as God does, without expectation.

My mom, Sue, dressed up for an old west re-enactment.

 

The Junk in My Trunk

“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” Matthew 3:8

Suggested reading: Isaiah 59

Waking the Dead by John Eldredge

Imagine you’ve beautifully decorated a cake. You spent years studying how to decorate it to perfection, and all that knowledge has paid off. Your cake looks marvelous, anyone would want it at their wedding. That is unless they cut into it. You see, you spent so much time learning how to decorate the cake, you never took the time to learn how to bake the cake! Your ingredients were not measured correctly, and were not good quality. You had a beautiful cake that was inedible.

This describes the majority of us. We’ve accepted the teachings that we “should” act a certain way. So, we attempt to decorate our appearance (with the best of intentions) rather than fixing the inside. It’s called legalism. “Surely a real Christian wouldn’t act that way!” Perhaps that “Christian” has too much junk in their trunk, and they don’t realize it.

I have spent many years learning the Bible, doing studies, and attending classes, but those facts did not set me free. As a believer I continued to struggle with eating disorders, addictions, and ungodly attitudes. It was a daily struggle which often ended in despair. “I’ll never be able to do this!” There are many denominations that would label me a “non-believer” based on my actions. What was my problem?

When I went through The Steps to Freedom in Christ I started to understand what was holding me up. Yes, I did have a heart that sought after God, but I had too much junk in my trunk making it impossible for me to drive up the mountaintop of freedom. I struggled every day with wanting to do the right thing, then failing to do it. I chalked it up to Paul’s struggle in Romans 7:24, “Oh wretched man that I am!” I guess it’s the way it will always be; trying to do good and failing. I was taught and believed this was the way of the Christian life, ups and downs; failures and successes.

I had tried to forget about my past and move on for many years, yet I had failed to deal with it head on. One thing I did was list every physical act partaken of with another man that was not my husband. I had to write down their names and what I did. I even had to write down my husband’s name and everything we did before we were married. I went through the list systematically renouncing the deeds and the spiritual bonds it produced. Those were things I tried to forget for many years. I never realized that just pushing the memories away didn’t fix the problem. I had made spiritual agreements with these people and these bonds needed to be broken. Just because I had re-dedicated myself to Jesus didn’t mean the spiritual bonds of sin were severed. Had God already forgiven me? Of course! He forgave me as He suffered on the cross for my every shameful choice, but I couldn’t experience freedom until I acknowledged and renounced my actions.

Repentance isn’t for God, it’s for me.

This process was repeated in every area of my life, not just sexual sin. I’m talking about down to “obeying the laws of the government”. Yes, that means speeding and other traffic violations whether or not I was “caught”. Does this sound extreme to you? I assure you, it’s not. A lifetime of junk piling up set a wall between me and true freedom.

I am living life on the mountaintop now because I finally emptied out the garbage. I acknowledged its existence, renounced it and repented, allowing me to experience the freedom of Christ completely. We’re wearing ourselves out trying to get up that mountain with 500lbs of bricks on our backs. We’re fighting a losing battle by decorating a cake with inedible ingredients.

For the first time in my life I am “living” the way I should; not out of effort but because I have been changed from the inside out.  If my trunk is filled with junk I’ve never faced, I will have no room to retain the truth of Jesus that results in changed behavior.

Am I perfect? No, but I am equipped, armed, and ready for the spiritual battle that rages every day of my life and that has allowed me to walk in my position with Christ as a saint.