Book Review: Healing the Hurts of Your Past by F. Remy Diederich

Healing-the-Hurts-of-Your-Past-StackHealing the Hurts of Your Past: Overcoming the Pain of Shame by F. Remy Diederich can only be described as a life-altering read. The main topic of discussion in this book is shame, learning how to recognize it and defeat its power in your life. If you’re thinking, “Oh, I don’t struggle with shame, I’ve never done anything that bad,” I urge you to purchase this book anyway. You’ll probably be surprised at the things you’ll discover you believed about yourself and how it has negatively affected your life.

As a person who has been through every recovery book known to man, who has lived life as an addict and been set free from a multitude of other spiritual strongholds, I thought I would read things in this book that were familiar concepts or things I had already mastered in previous recovery efforts. I never expected it to have the impact on my life that it did. It’s one thing to be set free from destructive behaviors, it’s another thing altogether to discover what beliefs and attitudes propelled the wrong behavior in the first place. That’s exactly what this book does in an amazingly brilliant way.

Healing the Hurts of Your Past helped me to see the destructive role shame has played in my life over the years, and how easy it is to overlook it, thinking some other source is the cause of my problems. Nearly every “bad” behavior, whether physical (promiscuity) or emotional (bitterness) can be traced back to the pain of shame.

This book needs to be in the hands of every recovering addict, for one, as well as parents and loved ones of people who are struggling with addiction, mental issues, depression, and suicidal tendencies. This book will change how you view your loved one who is suffering in these ways. And if you’re the person who is suffering emotionally, this book (if you apply what you learn) will change your life too. If I had enough money I’d give everyone I know a copy of Healing the Hurts of Your Past.

Honestly I was blown away at how accurate it describes the mind and the way shame affects so many areas of our lives from perfectionism to the way we raise our kids. The biggest takeaway for me was discovering how the shame I’d lived with had actually influenced the way I parented my child. I was able to see just how much emotional trauma I could potentially place on my child if I allowed shame’s fruit to ripen in my life. It’s easy to admit that our problems affect us; it’s a whole other issue to admit our problems affect our children too.

So, thank you Remy, for writing this book and sharing this truth with the world.

Though author Remy Diederich had previously given me another one of his books to read/review (read my review of STUCK), this book was something I purchased on my own because I loved his other book so much. Everything I’m writing here is my own opinion and was not coerced in any way. I have not received anything in return for writing this review.

To purchase Healing the Hurts of Your Past or Stuck by F. Remy Diederich from the publisher, click HERE. To purchase on Amazon click HERE for Healing the Hurts or HERE for STUCK: How to Mend and Move on from Broken Relationships.

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F. Remy Diederich is the author of Healing the Hurts of Your Past…a guide to Remyovercoming the pain of shame and STUCK…how to mend and move on from broken relationships. He is the founding pastor of Cedarbrook Church in Wisconsin, the spirituality consultant at Arbor Place Treatment Center, and offers retreats and seminars based on his two books.

I encourage you to follow Remy on Facebook or Twitter and follow his blog: http://readingremy.com
You can also email Remy at: remydiederich@yahoo.com

Stuck: How to Mend and Move on From Broken Relationships

Final_STUCK_cover_2Stuck: How to Mend and Move on From Broken Relationships by F. Remy Diederich can be summed up in one word–brilliant. As a recovering addict, I have been through every step program and healing book out there, from Celebrate Recovery to the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. I have read books on anger and forgiveness written by famous theologians and pastors of mega churches, and though they have been helpful in their own right, this particular one hit home for me like no other has.

Before I read Stuck, I would not have characterized myself as a bitter or angry person. No, having been through the twelve steps every which way from Sunday, I would have said that I had NO problem with anger or forgiveness. And then I read the first few pages of Stuck and my heart sank (in a good, convicting way). Within approximately ten minutes of posting a Facebook status that said, “Frustrated” I read in Stuck what being “frustrated” really means, and as I honestly examined my heart I had to agree with the author’s conclusions on the issue.

Another aspect of Stuck I thoroughly enjoyed was the thought-provoking questions included in each chapter. I have a tendency to read books quickly, like what I read and even be convicted by it, but then forget everything the next day without any tangible life-changes. But in Stuck, the carefully chosen questions popped up everywhere (in a good way) which challenged me to think about what I had just read. In essence, the ball was in my court and I had the opportunity to either make a conscious change or ignore what I read and move on.

Whether you think you’ve conquered forgiveness, anger, bitterness, and broken relationships or not, this book is a must read. I guarantee you will be challenged to look within yourself, examine your motives, and make a lasting heart-change.

Initially I was interested in this book because of a personal situation I had been dealing with (in other words, a bad relationship) for the last year. This situation had become what I considered to be “impossible”. The truth presented in Stuck helped me discern what move to make next in regards to this relationship while having the confidence to know my decision would honor God. I believe in divine appointments; that there are no “accidents”. When Stuck landed in my hands (through circumstances only God could have orchestrated) my spiritual life began to transform in ways I didn’t even realize needed transforming. Perhaps when we reach a point where we think we’ve got it all figured out in a particular area is when we truly need help the most, having been blinded to our own short-comings

I can’t really rave enough about this book, and would strongly urge you to pick it up. It will be well worth your time and resources, especially if you actually apply what you learn. As I mentioned before, this opinion comes from one who has walked the road to recovery, and read many books on anger and forgiveness out there.

I look forward to getting my hands on a hard-copy of this book, as well as using it in a life-group (or small group) setting. I plan on reading it again and keeping it handy when those old familiar “feelings” resurface.

You can purchase Stuck: How to Mend and Move on From Broken Relationships by F. Remy Diederich on Amazon by clicking here…but for an even better deal check out this post by the author (if you’re reading this before December 18, 2012).

RemyF. Remy Diederich is the author of Healing the Hurts of Your Past…a guide to overcoming the pain of shame and STUCK…how to mend and move on from broken relationships. He is the founding pastor of Cedarbrook Church in Wisconsin, the spirituality consultant at Arbor Place Treatment Center, and offers retreats and seminars based on his two books.His books are available on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble
Cross Point Publishing. (Stuck will be released in stores on Tuesday, December 18, 2012)
I encourage you to follow Remy on Facebook or Twitter and follow his blog: http://readingremy.com
You can also email Remy at: remydiederich@yahoo.com

(I received a free copy of Stuck for review purposes only. I was not required to give anything other than an honest review, and the opinions I have expressed here have been heartfelt and sincere. I do not know the author personally, nor am I a friend or relative. I am simply a grateful reader who was privileged to come across such and amazing book.)

Festering Wounds

Psalm 139:21-24

Festering Wounds

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Search me, O God…point out anything in me that offends you.” Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT)

I’m a self-admitted Band-Aid fanatic. As a child I fainted at the sight of my own blood, so I learned to cover my wounds with Band-Aids, no matter the severity. It’s a habit that continued into adult-hood, despite being told it was “all in my head”.

Recently I had a surgical procedure to remove a tumor and after surgery I did what I always do, covered the wound with ointments and Band-Aids. In a matter of weeks the incision site was infected. I couldn’t understand why, after all, I had taken excellent care of it with creams and dressings.

A good friend of mine suggested I leave the incision uncovered, open to air. As much as I hated the thought of seeing my wound exposed every day, I gave it a try. Within days the incision began to heal properly.

About as much as I enjoy seeing my physical wounds, I enjoy facing my sin. But the only way it can be eradicated is with the healing air of the Holy Spirit. When I keep Band-Aids on my spiritual weaknesses, deep infections develop in my life and I have to rip off the blinders of denial to let God reveal diseases that need healing. This is the essence of inviting God to search my heart.

PRAYER: Make me uncomfortable with what offends you, Lord, healing my heart with your Spirit of truth.

 

Nourishing Pathways

**Published in The Christian Online Magazine August 2012 Issue**

Nourishing Pathways to Health (part 1)

13 years ago I met Rebecca. Besides sharing the same first two names (Rebecca Anne) we found we had a mutual love for Jesus. Rebecca has been a blessing in my life, though we walked different paths for many years, we have come together once again bonded not only by our love for Jesus, but our desire to glorify God with our bodies.

Rebecca is now married and has three beautiful kids. Her husband, Luke, is the music and youth pastor at Hillsdale Blvd Baptist church while Rebecca teaches Sunday school for the youth. Together they serve God passionately, seeking to honor Him with their bodies while teaching those habits to their children. I know you’ll be encouraged by her story.

Nourishing Pathways to Health

Chemical additives are common and convenience is praised in the modern diet, but Sacramento California resident Rebecca Gertner has chosen a different path for her family’s health, especially her husband who, at the age of 32, was diagnosed with stage-4 lung cancer.

“When God’s word says that our bodies are His temple, that means we should honor them. Just like we wouldn’t go spread trash all over our church sanctuary or purposely destroy the building, we should be mindful of how we are treating this flesh and blood sanctuary.”

Rebecca hasn’t always practiced a healthy lifestyle. As a member of the Finley Family, who travelled and performed as a way of life, she learned the art of eating on the go. Rebecca recalled her life on the bus:

“Growing up I ate a lot of fast food and drank a lot of soda pop. For years we didn’t have a refrigerator and just an ice chest. That left us consuming a lot of things that were either non-perishable or quick to purchase or eat.”

When the Finley Family wasn’t touring they worked together at home booking concerts, practicing music, and making bus repairs. Eventually a system was developed to trade off cooking responsibilities for the family so everyone would have a turn preparing food. Making meals for a large family with varying tastes often meant preparing fried foods, drinking sodas, and baking hefty desserts.

“I was unhealthy when I got married,” Rebecca admitted, “I had food allergies that caused me to have migraines regularly, but since my family wasn’t thinking much about the quality of our diet, it never occurred to me that the headaches were a result of what I was eating. Eventually I was able to maintain a headache free life just by the choices I made concerning food.”

Rebecca’s husband, Luke, had learned about nutrition when his brother became sick as a young boy. Unable to find healing through traditional means, his mother turned to nutrition. His family then adopted and maintained a healthy lifestyle.

“Getting married to Luke changed the way I saw food. Not only did I have the freedom to cook what I wanted, but I also had someone encouraging me to cook healthy foods,” Rebecca explained.

“The biggest factor in deciding to change the way we ate was when my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 non-smokers lung cancer. As you can imagine we were shocked, scared and motivated to do whatever it took to beat this cancer. Food seems to take a back-burner when you’re looking at the statistics of this kind of cancer. Life is more than food. Food is simply what makes life possible.”

Rebecca spent countless hours in research via the internet as well as seeking advice from medical professionals. After learning how excessive amounts of sugar and carbs can suppress the immune system, Rebecca and Luke decided to limit Luke’s carb intake and focus on whole foods instead of processed refined foods, limiting the amount of added sugar to his diet and giving him the best opportunity to heal through proper nutrition as well as traditional cancer treatments. She admits it’s often difficult to discern what advice to take and what to discard, considering there were hundreds of contradictory medical opinions. Ultimately it came down to seeking God’s will and wisdom in every health choice.

You can read the rest of Rebecca’s interview in September’s issue of The Christian Online Magazine! Stay tuned!